Voice:

Traci wrote this in first person.

Audience:

I think this is written for teachers and educators to suggest ways they could improve literacy skills in children who come from impoverished environments.

Say Back:

Traci wanted to research how teachers can improve literacy skills in children who come from impoverished environments. She began by looking at what literacy skills are common in school-age children, which she found to be oral language (knowing syntax and vocabulary), phonological processing (ability to remember, decode, and understand information), and print knowledge (knowledge of uppercase and lowercase letters, etc.) All these skills develop in stages.

Traci found that children in a low socioeconomic status have problems with phonemic awareness, listening comprehension, and vocabulary. This is because these children don’t receive enough stimulation before they enter school.

Some recommendations for teachers were made to help these students. One was for teachers to know what students needed to learn to be successful in the classroom and to teach those specific skills. The second was that students who read below their age level should always receive individual intervention. Next, it was recommended that teachers supply appropriate resources for the children; both materials and methods, like dialogic reading. Lastly, it was recommended that teachers encourage parents to become more active in their child’s literacy.

In her research Traci found that there are impaired literacy skills in children who come from an impoverished environment, and teachers can be a large influence on the improvement of these children’s literacy.

Bless:

I liked the statistics used to show low literacy skills. The numbers really help put everything in perspective for me. I also liked your organization and how your paper flowed with the order of your questions.

Address:

I felt like there needed to be more discussion on the teacher recommendations. It was more interesting for me to read the ones that were discussed more and not just listed.There are also a few grammatical corrections that could be made.

I think this is a really interesting topic! Let me know if this makes sense =)

I really enjoyed reading your paper! =) Here are my thoughts…I hope they help!

Voice:

The first part of the piece is written in first person. After the introduction and explanation of why you decided to write the paper, the voice switches between first and third person throughout the paper.

Audience:

This piece is written specifically for educators wanting to know how to improve the literacy skills of children who are raised in impoverished backgrounds and display literacy skill difficulties. It could also be useful to speech-language pathologists who work in the school system or even in other settings.

Say Back:

The author is presenting basic information about what literacy is and what literacy skills are common in “normal” children. She then focuses on what literacy skills children from impoverished backgrounds have difficulty with and what methods teachers can utilize to help these children’s literacy skills improve.

Bless:

I really liked your section in the introduction describing the reason you chose to write this paper. It gave the paper a personal touch and showed that gaining this information was valuable to you. I also thought the actual research stating that children living in poverty have trouble with phonemic awareness, listening comprehension, and vocabulary was interesting.

Address:

Although I thought your paper was really good, here are several things that you might want to work on:

- In the second paragraph, second sentence, “program” is spelled wrong and I think that you should change “me and other volunteers” to “volunteers, including myself,” or take out volunteers and say “I was assigned…”

- In the second paragraph, fourth to last sentence, fix the spelling of “receiving” (“I knew that factors such as the environment a child lives in can affect literacy because children living in impoverished environments are not recieving as much stimulation and exposure to literature.”)

- In the third paragraph, when you are discussing your final question, the sentence introducing it says almost exactly what the question states. Maybe you could reword it or take that sentence out. (forth and third to last sentences in the paragraph)

- I think that you might need to fix your in-text citations. Instead of writing the paragraph or slide right after the author’s name, perhaps you could cite after the sentence is complete with the author’s last name (if not already stated) and the date.

I really enjoyed getting to read your paper! If you have any questions about what I’ve written, just ask! =) Good luck!

Voice:
Traci wrote this in first person.

Audience:
I think this is written for teachers and educators to suggest ways they could improve literacy skills in children who come from impoverished environments.

Say Back:
Traci wanted to research how teachers can improve literacy skills in children who come from impoverished environments. She began by looking at what literacy skills are common in school-age children, which she found to be oral language (knowing syntax and vocabulary), phonological processing (ability to remember, decode, and understand information), and print knowledge (knowledge of uppercase and lowercase letters, etc.) All these skills develop in stages.

Traci found that children in a low socioeconomic status have problems with phonemic awareness, listening comprehension, and vocabulary. This is because these children don’t receive enough stimulation before they enter school.

Some recommendations for teachers were made to help these students. One was for teachers to know what students needed to learn to be successful in the classroom and to teach those specific skills. The second was that students who read below their age level should always receive individual intervention. Next, it was recommended that teachers supply appropriate resources for the children; both materials and methods, like dialogic reading. Lastly, it was recommended that teachers encourage parents to become more active in their child’s literacy.

In her research Traci found that there are impaired literacy skills in children who come from an impoverished environment, and teachers can be a large influence on the improvement of these children’s literacy.

Bless:
I liked the statistics used to show low literacy skills. The numbers really help put everything in perspective for me. I also liked your organization and how your paper flowed with the order of your questions.

Address:
I felt like there needed to be more discussion on the teacher recommendations. It was more interesting for me to read the ones that were discussed more and not just listed.There are also a few grammatical corrections that could be made.

I appreciate your comprehensive review of our pro-canine service. Please *believe* that we can give you dog but sell you the dogfood. If you will accept our free offer of a dog, I would be pleased to give you one free year of dogfood as a special bonus!

Carl Malamud
CEO and Chief Dog Wrangler
BetterDogFood (.com!)